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Surviving As A Single Parent: Seven Suggestions
To Make Your Life Easier
By Danielle Hollister
1 - Forgive even if you will never be able to
Forget -
Let go of grudges you may hold against your
child’s other parent, who is absent from BOTH of your lives. Holding onto
feelings of anger will not change your situation and will probably consume a
great deal of your energy - energy you need to devote to creating a positive
environment for your child. If you dwell on your disappointment with and/or
dislike of the father or mother of your child - chances are your child will
sense your feelings and suffer in some way from your negative attitude.
2 - Make the most of everything you have
-
Even if you do not have a lot of money, you do
have your child and your love and your time to give to him or her. Try to
remember that monetary wealth and material possessions are not the most
important items in your child’s life. Your love, support and time together mean
much more to them. You can have fun for free. Activities like - going for a walk
or a bike ride, playing at the park, coloring, painting, singing, or dancing -
will thrill your child just as much as spending money to go to an amusement
park, an arcade or a toy store.
3 - Be the best parent you can possibly be
-
Give as much as you can without setting goals
that are unrealistic for one parent to achieve. Don’t beat yourself up for what
cannot be. Do recognize what you can do to create a good life for your child to
the best of your abilities.
4 - Develop a network of reliable resources
-
Families are not biological. Surround yourself
and your child with friends you know and trust - people who care about both of
you. “Aunts” and “Uncles” and even “Grandparents,” who are not blood-related can
be just as beneficial to your child as actual biological family members. The
“family” you create for your child can provide him or her with the same kind of
love and support as a traditional family. They can also help you with your
responsibilities as a single parent. Let them play an active role in your
child’s life. Learn to turn to your “family” when you need a break. Nobody
should have to go it alone and you will probably be able to be a better parent
by relying on your “family” of close friends to support you and your
child.
5 - Take responsibility for your life today
-
Remember whatever lead you to where you are
today, you are responsible for another life - the innocent life of a child, who
didn’t ask to be born. Your child is not responsible for the experiences or
events that made you become a single parent. Your child is completely dependent
upon you through no choice of their own. Don’t let them down or hold them
accountable for your actions (or the actions of their absent parent). They are
powerless and vulnerable to the possibly less-than-ideal consequences they face
as the child of a single parent. Your role and influence in their life is
paramount to their chances of becoming a happy, productive, successful adult.
They need you more than their words will ever tell.
6 - Set up daily rituals and regular routines
-
Your child needs stability and security. One way
to provide this is by developing a daily routine. Simple things like - going to
the park every Sunday afternoon, eating dinner together each night, sharing a
treat before nap time or reading a book together before bed every night, will
become activities that your child looks forward to and can count on to occur
with regularity.
7 - Be consistent and dependable -
Create realistic rules and a standard of
discipline that you stick to all the time. If you’re consistent with your child,
he or she will learn what is acceptable behavior and what is not. They will also
learn what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. If you’re
dependable, they will know that they can always count on you to help them with
their homework, be there for dinner or tuck them in bed at night. They have to
be able to depend on you. You’re the most important person in their life. Try to
remember that no matter how tired you are at the end of the day or how
frustrated you may become when they’re fussy - They need you to be there for
them. You should cherish every moment with your child - they are the best
blessings on earth.
Resource Box -
© Danielle Hollister (2000)
Danielle Hollister is the Writing Host at
BellaOnline http://www.bellaonline.com/career/writing.htmll
and Publisher of BellaOnline’s Writing Zine http://www.egroups.com/group/bell
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